September 2019
“And the past held only his wisdom: that love was a damaging mistake, and its accomplice, hope, a treacherous illusion.” – Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns
In the beginning of English this year, my teacher gave us a diagnostic quotation response to do. For this diagnostic, we could do whatever we wanted; creative, critical, CPU, anything. From the list of quotes that she gave us to do, this definitely caught my eye and I started writing my feelings about love. What really jump started everything for me was that love was a … illusion, thus my free choice title and idea. I know that this quote means something completely different from what I wrote about, but I am glad that it instilled confidence and became a breadcrumb for me. I will admit, my diagnostic that I wrote was really bad, it is something that was done impulsively, quickly, and in a state of panic. When I was thinking of what to do for my free choice, his came into my head and I ended up having a debate with my own self about whether or not I should do it since this is, in my experience, a very controversial topic. I overcame my doubt and followed through because I thought that this blog is my blog that depicts my views and opinions. I completely remastered it since I couldn’t even go through the scrap that I created previously. I am personally very happy with the outcome and am proud of myself for putting out my emotions that I have suppressed for a while now.
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A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
I was forced into reading this book for my English summer reading and I’m so glad that I was. This book did something so wonderful for me and I am forever grateful. This book ended up being so inspiring and interesting for me that I finished it in three sit-downs, I believe. I personally think that I am a very informed person about many different cultures and countries’ histories. I am very open-minded and am intrigued by other cultures and having such a diverse group of friends helps. But what A Thousand Splendid Suns did was humbled me an incredible amount. I was able to learn so much more about a culture and I read about things that I was fully ignorant about before. The way that Khaled Hosseini wrote this book and his style and techniques have also, most definitely, inspired me as a writer. He has managed to make it difficult for me to put this book down; but at the same time I was forced to so I would be able to process everything that has happened in the section that I read. Honestly, if every ‘Karen’ of this world would read this book – unless they were fully ignorant; then there’s no help – I feel like this world would be a much better place. This book is so informative without being boring. It is just simply wonderful. I would recommend this book to anyone.
October 2019
Hamlet – William Shakespeare
I do not like Shakespeare’s writing, but, I cannot deny his incredible talent and that the way his mind works is fascinating. While reading Hamlet over the summer, I found myself getting through a bunch of pages absentmindedly. Now that I have to analyze Hamlet, and see beyond the big picture, I am greatly inspired by it. Shakespeare is very good at meaningful and semi-hidden messages throughout his plays, including Hamlet. I absolutely love the character. His story and personality is something that I really enjoy and I want to add more meaningfulness to my own writing, to my characters. I want to learn how to incorporate “hidden” messages into my writing to make it so much better.
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“That an adult is not a dead child, but a child who survived.”
I saw this quote in my reading comp midterm and I asked Hunni to let me write it down. This is genuinely such a cool quote and I tried to incorporate it in any of my pieces but I want to wait for the right time to use it. I genuinely don’t mind waiting as long as needed to use this quote in my writing for I don’t want to use it just to use it. I honestly don’t know why I’m so obsessed with it.
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“I wished I could open my veins and drain his cursed blood from my body.”
This is also a very cool quote that I have found, although I do not remember where. I believe I found it in a book? Not a clue though. But this is a really nice quote that I also am waiting to use in my writing. This is another thing where I don’t want to use it just to use it; it has to be used in a place where no other words would fit better.
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I unfortunately did not have any more inspirations this month that I could recall. It was a busy month and I wasn’t able to let inspiration seep into my soul since I closed everything off. But I guess that’s an inspiration since that caused me to create some breadcrumbs that I’m too afraid to look back on, but I will still force myself to.
November 2019
Spoken Word
I know we were exempt from writing inspirations for November because of spoken word, but I still want to say my part. I wrote my spoken word at 3 AM two weeks before it was announced that we will be doing them. I wrote that simply to release the pain that I was feeling at that moment and fun-fact: it wasn’t even a poem or prose originally, it was a song; I wrote a song. Crazy, I know. I wrote out a bunch of different tunes that, in a song, don’t work together, but the words do. I don’t know if that makes sense. I have this journal that some people probably have seen before, where I just write whatever I feel in it. I am a very closed off person so that journal was where I felt comfortable telling my stories – I unfortunately cannot do that anymore because of recent events, and that is tragic for me. When Hunni announced that we were doing spoken word, I was very hesitant to look back in that journal for I have never looked back at any of the writing that I’ve done. But, as dramatic as this may sound, I got the courage to do that, and I just wrote out everything that I had on that page on a google doc. I then, obviously, added and removed and rearranged and created the piece that I’ve never been more proud of. That is my favourite thing that I wrote, not because of the words on the paper (or computer screen lol) but because of the experiences and lessons that I’ve went through along with it. And I don’t just mean when I wrote it, but more so when I performed it. Although I hate the word okay now, and although it became this joke that will never leave me, I am proud of myself for finally stepping out of my comfort zone. I thank my creative writing class for allowing me to feel comfortable. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
December/January 2019/20
“… impact of separation in an individual’s life”
This was the inspiration for my piece: drowning. We had to do a cold personal response for English class so I did that piece. I used a lot of my own personal experiences with it such as the dream that the child has is one of my own, and I am able to follow through with my belief of adding my truth to everything I write.
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“… an individual’s response to the constraints of convention or circumstance.”
This was another inspiration for a piece on my blog called: poison. I once again did a cold personal using the prompt. I actually wrote something along the lines of this the night before because I needed to write out my emotions and then tried to remember it as much as I could during class. I am not too proud of posting this for I am not comfortable with this type of stuff, but I feel like I had to, I don’t know why. I actually didn’t want anyone to read it even though I know that’s impossible. It’s really confusing and I still don’t know whether or not I should’ve posted this. I guess time will tell
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In creative writing, Mrs. Hunni asked if we could go back to any time, where would we go. I thought hard about this because I feel like I wouldn’t feel like I would belong in any certain time. I actually like the time that I’m in. But regardless of that, I had to choose. I ended up choosing the mid 90s solely because I wanted to be in a time where my family was truly happy, and I ended missing out on that. This actually inspired me later on when I had to write a final personal with the prompt: “…the nature of human longing and how an individual’s life is shaped by such dreams.” I wrote about the longing to go back to a time I wasn’t even a part of.
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I want to end off this inspiration page by saying that the entire year of 2019 was an inspiration. I have learned so much about my self that I cannot even start to explain it. There was something about this year that was different for me, and I myself don’t know what it is. I learned so much about myself and I’ve also grown so much. This by far is the best and worse year of my life, and I wouldn’t change a single thing – well … except I wouldn’t leave everything to the last minute … yes I am very stressed right now. But I honestly needed to postpone everything that I did because that was necessary at the time.
So f you 2019, but thank you 2019.
