I will never forget the day I told my mother that I hate her. I will never forget how her green eyes glazed over with the salty liquid. How petrified she was when I spoke those foul words in her direction. I was shocked when those words had slipped out of my mouth, left the tip of my tongue. Ignoring my consciousness telling me ‘no’ and the shame in the pit of my stomach, I screamed the words instead of swallowing them. I told her to leave… leave. She did. She looked at me one last time, a single tear gliding down to her chin. She slowly opened the door and pressed it back shut once she exited the apartment. She left. Her body left and she forgot her soul behind. She left her smile, her words, her wisdom. All of her left and made its way into my mind and heart. I didn’t realise it though.

 

I stomped my foot on the ground; she trudged to the elevator.

I shattered a plate on the floor; she left the building.

I punched my wall; she started crossing the road.

I screamed from the pain inside of me; she screamed as well.

I slumped to the ground; she plummeted to the pavement.

I wept; …

I wept more; …

I picked up my phone to call her. I am so, so sorry; …

 

I hate the human race.

So selfish, so awful.

Despicable, empty.

Crued, shameful.

He was just as selfish as I was.

Drunk driving.

The most sinful deed.

Stupid, so stupid. Of me, of him.

 

I will never forget the day when I had lost myself.

 

                     I still haven’t found her.

 

      She has left with my mother,

 

 

 

never to return.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

---

In English a few weeks ago, we were introduced to the short story unit. Our teacher gave us a list of breadcrumbs to use to create anything. One of the things was: “I will never forget…”. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and I wasn’t really going into this with the want to write. I remember I was very tired and over it at that point in the day. I started writing a bunch of nonsense onto my piece of paper. I admit, I wrote a bit and then wasted the rest of my time. The next day we had more time to create and I read over my scribble and thought to myself; this isn’t too bad. I started a new page and went off. I didn’t stop and ended up creating something I am very proud of. I made four rough copies of this piece and ended up with this. This doesn’t fully pertain to me but I most definitely used some of my truth in here.

featured image: https://gfycat.com/bowedpotablehammerkop